Accept Praise!

We tend to have an unbalanced notion of how to respond when someone gives us praise or a compliment. We deflect the kind remark with false humility. “No big deal.””Oh, well…””Anybody could have done it.””It’s not that important.””I didn’t do that much, really.”

          Oliver Wendell Holmes Sr., a great nineteenth century writer, physician, and professor of anatomy and physiology at Harvard University, loved flattery. Even in old age, Holmes encouraged people to flatter him, using his hardness of hearing to that end.” I’m a trifle deaf, you know,” he would say to someone who had just praised his latest literary work. “ Do you mind repeating that a little louder?”

          The term humility is related to the Latin homo, human being. To be humble is to accept yourself as human, no more and no less. When you do a good job, or excel in some manner, it’s less than human to deny that you used your gifts to talents well. The humble person doesn’t grovel, the humble person accepts praise or compliments without depending upon them in the future. The humble person stands upright without acting like a stuffed shin and getting a big head.

          Of all the great novels and stories he wrote, Charles Dickens’ favorite, the   one which held a special place in his heart, was Oliver Twist. One of the characters in this novel is the despicable, hypo-critical Uriah Heep, who defrauds his employer and has deigns to marry his daughter and thus take control of his employer’s law practice. 

Uriah Heep constantly writhes in the presence of others, bowing and groveling with false humility. He regularly insists that he is “very ‘Humble”, but his humility is a mask, a way to ingratiate himself with those he wishes to control.

          Uriah Heep is the exact opposite of the truly humble person. Genuine humility will nourish you happiness, because it inclines you to acknowledge the truth about yourself, no more and no less.

 If you play the piano or banjo well, you don’t scoff at the enthusiasm of others for your playing. If you have a gift for writing poetry, you don’t pretend you have no such gift. You accept the encouragement and kind remarks of others and do what you can to cultivate your gift.

If you see a house ablaze and run into the house and save the occupants, you don’t deny that you showed bravery when the media folks show up to put you on television and in that newspapers. 

You admit that you did save those people’s lives, but you don’t act as if you’re pretty hot stuff, by golly. When the mayor gives you an award at a special banquet in your honor, you accept   the award, make a few remarks about the importance of smoke detectors, then go home and get on with your life.