What is Compassion?
Compassion is the
feeling of empathy or sympathy towards a person in need. It is a sense of shared suffering and
is generally regarded as the cornerstone of humanity.
Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what
it is like to live inside somebody else’s skin. It is the knowledge that there
can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy
finally for you too. – Frederick Buechner
The Benefits of
Compassion
By showing compassion a
person not only helps the other person but in essence helps themselves as well.
The reason behind this is that everything we do in life is linked through
a cause and effect system. By doing good to others we receive positivist and contentment.
We receive peace unlike anything we could have achieved if we only did
things for ourselves. Because self-actualization is a necessity in
our lives we can’t live without.
If you want others to be happy practice compassion. If
you want to be happy, practice compassion. - Dalai Lama
Before We Continue
Before I begin to
explain the actual process to developing compassion, it is important that you
first realize a few of things.
- Understand
that you can’t just showing compassion out of the blue and that it is a process
- Realize
that compassion is very hard to develop as by doing so you are changing
the very way you think
- Understand
that compassion can only be developed over a period of time.
Compassion is the desire that moves the individual self to
widen the scope of its self-concern to embrace the whole of the universal self.
– Arnold Toynbee
How to be Compassionate
1. Create
Similarities
Statistically speaking
at this very moment that you are reading this article, somebody just died.
Do you feel any
different?
Do you feel changed?
Do you feel any
remorse?
Most people have this
problem and if you answered no to these questions, don’t worry you’re not
alone. Being compassionate towards somebody you don’t know is very hard. That’s
why when I tell you somebody just died it is very hard to be sympathetic towards somebody.
This is why it’s so
important to create similarities between yourself and the people you meet.
Try to create a bond based on similarities (no matter how small they
might be) and you will automatically begin to relate and connect with the
person your talking to. For example if your
a student and the person your talking to
is a student, mentally make that connection between yourselves. Reflect and
understand that both of you are going through similar struggles and that
your day to day lives are very similar. You can than go deeper and deeper,
thinking of more parallels and you will unknowingly build compassion between
the both of you.
2. The Golden Rule
“Treat others as you would want to be treated”
This is probably the
most statement of all time but honestly speaking compassion is built on this
statement. If you treat others like how you want to be treated you will be
showing exemplary compassion. Act on this one rule and everything
else will come automatically.
3. Flip Your
Perspective
You love yourself the
most and only by putting yourself in the other person shoes can you
feel compassion for them. So whenever you meet somebody or see some person
struggling put you in the suffering person’s position:
- How would
you feel if that happened to you?
- How your family
feels if that would happen to you?
- How would
you react?
- What would
you need at a time like this?
This change in
perspective will not just help you understand what the person needs but it will
also help you feel true
compassion for the person from the bottom of your heart.
4. Be Fully
Involved and Aware
Compassion is something
which comes from within
the heart and soul. Why do you think true compassion can never be faked? Try
to be fully
involved with the other person and focus on the smallest of
things that are unique to the person. This way rather than feeling a general
feeling of compassion for everybody in the person’s situation, you will be able
to directly relate with him or her and do your best to help them.
By compassion we make others’ misery our own, and so, by
relieving them, we relieve ourselves also – Thomas Browne, Sr.
5. Appreciate
Compassion is formed
through a comparison in your head between the person who is suffering and
yourself. If you feel that you are both suffering the same amount you will not feel
compassionate towards the other person.
But then in reverse if
you were to realize
how blessed you are and were to count all of your blessing;
you would feel that you are better off than the person in distress and would
automatically feel compassion towards them.
Compassionate action involves working with us as much as
working with others. – Pema Chodron
A WAY TO CONNECT WITH ANOTHER............
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